The Queen vs Harry: 10 Minutes That Broke the Bond
Queen Elizabeth II, June 2019. Photo by Andrea Hanks and courtesy of The White House. Public domain.
In the dazzling world of royalty, where every gesture and decision is steeped in tradition, a single moment can alter the course of relationships for years to come. For Prince Harry and Queen Elizabeth II, that moment reportedly came in February 2018, just months before Harry's much-anticipated wedding to Meghan Markle. What was expected to be a routine family discussion instead turned into a tense 10-minute meeting that left the Queen feeling sidelined and deeply concerned about her grandson's judgment, according to royal biographer Sally Bedell Smith. This brief but charged encounter marked a turning point in their relationship, foreshadowing the royal ruptures that would follow.
The Meeting That Allegedly Shifted the Royal Dynamic
Sally Bedell Smith, a bestselling author who writes about the royal family, reported that the Queen felt "left out" and "very worried" after a private meeting with Harry in early 2018, as reported by Page Six. During this encounter, the Duke of Sussex, then 33, was reportedly rude to the Queen during a 10-minute conversation, particularly over decisions related to his wedding plans. The Queen was dismayed by Harry's unilateral choice to ask the Archbishop of Canterbury to perform the wedding service at St. George's Chapel without first seeking permission from the Dean of Windsor, a breach of royal protocol that was seen as a significant slight.
Adding to the tension, the Queen was reportedly upset that Meghan refused to share details about her wedding dress before the ceremony. This secrecy clashed with the royal family's preference for transparency and control over public narratives, further fueling the sense that the couple was charting their own course, separate from established royal traditions. The Queen was also troubled by the strained relationships between Meghan and other senior royals, including Prince William and Kate Middleton, which heightened the sense of division within the family.
A Royal Clash Over Tradition and Control
The wedding drama extended beyond the Queen's meeting with Harry. Royal correspondent Valentine Low, in his book "Courtiers: the Hidden Power Behind the Crown," revealed that the first signs of trouble in Meghan's relationship with the Queen reportedly emerged over a disagreement about the wedding tiara. Harry allegedly found the Queen's hairdresser, Angela Kelly, "obstructive" when Meghan tried to rehearse wearing a tiara for the wedding, as reported by The Royal Observer. Kelly, adhering to royal protocol, explained the rules and declined requests for fittings, which reportedly frustrated both Harry and Meghan. The Queen summoned Harry for a private meeting where he was "firmly put in his place" for his rude behavior toward her aide.
This clash over the tiara was emblematic of a larger struggle between the couple's desire for autonomy and the royal family's insistence on tradition. Harry's memoir, "Spare," discusses the debates surrounding the tiara and veil, including whether Meghan, a divorced woman, should wear a veil at all. As reported by Page Six, Harry described the process as fraught with "heated debates," and noted that when they inquired about borrowing Princess Diana's tiaras, the Queen encouraged them to select something from her private collection instead. Harry wrote that it was "obvious they were putting up obstacles," and expressed confusion over the motives behind the resistance. The Queen's decision to deny Meghan's first choice of an emerald tiara, due to its controversial history, reportedly infuriated Harry, further straining relations.
The Relationship Around the Wedding: A Complex Timeline
Despite reports that the Queen and Harry patched things up before the wedding, their relationship remained complicated. The List reported that Harry's private visit with the Queen ahead of the Platinum Jubilee celebrations in 2022 did not heal their rift, indicating that tensions lingered long after the wedding. The couple's reunion with the Queen at the Jubilee was brief and formal, lacking the warmth expected from a grandmother and grandson. Moreover, the Sussexes were notably excluded from family photographs in the Queen's 2019 Christmas broadcast, a move that reportedly devastated Harry and symbolized the growing divide within the family.
The couple's decision to step back as senior royals in 2020 and relocate to the United States further underscored the depth of the split.
What This Moment Means for the Royal Family
The 10 tense minutes in February 2018 signaled the beginning of seismic shifts within the royal family. The Queen's concerns about Harry's judgment and the couple's approach to royal life have had lasting repercussions, reshaping family dynamics and public perceptions of the monarchy.
And now, with Queen Elizabeth II gone, the wounds from those final years of her reign remain fresh reminders of how one stormy relationship can ripple across an entire institution. The fallout from that brief but explosive encounter still colors the public's view of the Sussexes and the crown, a legacy of mistrust and division that no platinum jubilee or carefully staged reunion has yet erased.
In a world where every royal move is scrutinized and every private word risks becoming tomorrow's headline, a single tense conversation can alter the course of history. A new truth has emerged: the royal family is not the unshakable symbol it once appeared to be.
References: Exact moment Prince Harry 'blew' relationship with Queen Elizabeth II revealed | Expert Reveals the Exact Moment Meghan's Relationship With the Queen 'Went Wrong' — The Royal Observer | The Exact Moment Prince Harry's Relationship With The Queen May Have Changed Forever | Prince Harry details Meghan Markle's wedding-tiara drama in 'Spare' memoir
